What You Were Told As A Kid Doesn’t Work: The Art & Science of Word Use

Remember the ditty, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me”? Totally ridiculous, wasn’t it? The phrase would supposedly protect us from verbal attacks on the playground at school. If you think about the flip-side of the phrase, it means it’s OK for the bully to use verbal attacks. After… Continue Reading

Your Relationship With Your Partner: It’s the small things that count

Your relationship with your partner is likely the most important relationship you will ever have.  It is wise to review and revise your “attention strategy” to ensure long-term success.  Otherwise, its too easy to take each other for granted and … ah, just read on and watch the video. When we coach with couples, there… Continue Reading

Just Because I Don’t Know The Plan, Doesn’t Mean There Isn’t One

I just finished re-reading ‘The Power of TED’ by David Emerald and am pondering where I consistently jump into the Dreaded Drama Triangle. If you’re not familiar with the Drama Triangle, I invite you to get the book and read it. The Triangle consists of 3 positions we play in our self-created dramas: Victim, Persecutor,… Continue Reading

Your Relationship: Is It Functional, Adaptable, or Sustainable?

Life, as we experience it now, is functional, adaptable, or sustainable. In other words, our society produces what we need to function – food, shelter, clothing, and all the things we need to survive. At an unconscious level, we only want peace and happiness, yet these basics just don’t cut it. That’s a problem. So,… Continue Reading

Retreat in Nature: Healing power and honest conversation

Our world is a busy place.  Yet if you take the time to get out in nature, there is healing power in being unplugged from technology and away from distractions.  As a couple, it stimulates honest, open communication and strengthens your relationship, if you are willing to be a bit vulnerable.  It is worth the… Continue Reading

A Single Word Can Muck Up Your Relationship: a need for awareness and honesty

When coaching with couples, we usually ask if they know their partner’s hot buttons – words, a look, an expression that sends the partner into defensiveness, anger, withholding, or running. The answer is always “yes.” A really simple way to improve your relationship is to stop pushing those buttons.  Easier said than done.  As well… Continue Reading

Job Jar: A simple family tool for empowerment, collaboration, pride, and fun

When coaching with couples (especially those with young children), we often hear concerns about household tasks that don’t get done, or resentment about which person needs to do them. The resentments are often due to unmet and uncommunicated expectations about “the way it should be.” Yet, at the core, these parents usually share a common… Continue Reading

The Rotary Four-Way Test: It Affects Your Marriage And All Relationships

Recently we were visiting with Connie and Bernie. This couple have done the conscious and consistent work to transform their relationship whereby they now strive to work together to bring out each other’s wonderfulness. They gave us a small medallion which they use to remind themselves to keep working together for the betterment of themselves,… Continue Reading