What’s love got to do with it – with business, I mean? How could we ever get any business done if everyone was having touchy-feely love-fests in our workplaces? Love my customers – all of them? Yeah, right!
At a recent Residential Construction Industry conference, I gave a presentation about relationship-building strategies, and I referred to them as the “technology of love.” I didn’t know how this would be taken in a technology- and business-oriented conference, but because it’s true to my heart, I did it anyway.
After the presentation, dozens of people approached me with comments such as:
- “It’s refreshing to hear someone talk about love in the business world.”
- “I’m going to use this technology of love. It’s just what we need now.”
- “Not only will these love strategies help in our business, it will help each of us in our home lives.”
Now, more than ever, I believe we need to be talking about, and applying the technology of love.
In our world where we are ever striving to develop new technologies to make our lives easier, simpler, and more efficient, why don’t we really move forward by using the basics of love that have worked forever? Why don’t we unconditionally love our colleagues, customers, life-partners, and kids? Why don’t we treat them in the same loving way we would like to be treated?
Why? Because it’s just easier to do it the other way, especially when there is tension, or when things are not going well.
I know this occurs, because I’ve been there way too many times, and still go there occasionally. I’ve learned to keep it to myself (usually), rather than blurt it out, but I notice the conversations in my mind. Things like:
- “She broke an agreement again. It’s always about what fits her schedule.”
- “He stands and talks while we all work. Can’t he see what needs to be done?”
- “It’s like they expect me to do it all the time.”
We could get into a long drawn-out conversation about those comments and the stories around them. That’s not really beneficial for anyone, because it can be easy to get caught up in the stories, right and wrong, me and you, blame and fault, which really don’t matter. And they are in the past, which is gone – we can’t do anything about it. Instead, why not just wipe the slate clean and start from right here, right now? Because now is all you’ve got, and it’s all I’ve got. And since it’s all we’ve got, let’s make the best of it.
So here’s the challenge for you, should you choose to accept it. Apply these 3 technologies of love today – look, speak, and give.
Look for love – Start the day by looking for the signs of love from others – a smile, a kind word, a thoughtful gesture. They are all around you, if you get out of your stories in your head and really look at others as loving human beings. The more you look for it; the more you’ll see. The more you see, the better you feel. The better you feel; the better you feel.
Speak about love – When you see, hear, or feel love, comment on it. Things like:
“Your eyes sparkle today.” “Thank you for the positive and cheery way you answer the phone.” “I really appreciate you for making this great supper for us.” When you finish the comment, come to a full stop. For gosh sakes, don’t add in a “BUT” and then a knuckle-headed statement that negates the first part. This might be a challenging step for you, if you’re not used to it, however it does get easier with practice.
Give love – Look for ways to give love, with no strings attached. Genuinely smile and laugh often, even if you’re by yourself. Offer a helping hand. Give a genuine hug, not to just one person, but to many. Go beyond your “job description” to serve a customer far beyond their expectations. Tell your life-partner, “I love you”, five or ten times every day – or more. Ask questions and then really listen to understand, without judgement.
These are not high-tech or academic tasks. They are simple, easy technologies that work, and work very well, every day.
What might keep you from looking, speaking, and giving love? If you evaluate honestly and deeply, the only thing would be an unloving thought in your own brain.
As Martin Luther King aptly said, “Man must evolve for all human conflict to end, a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”
So, what are you going to do today?