Tag Archives: couples communication

Curiosity: One Skill That Will Save Your Marriage

You may be thinking, “How can curiosity save a marriage?” BINGO.  Just that one question can kick the pre-frontal cortex of your brain into gear to find better answers and solutions to any challenge you may face in your relationship. The challenge is that most of us have not been trained to ask good questions. … Continue Reading

Clarity Creates Confidence; Confusion Causes Chaos

I invite you to read the title one more time.  I invite you to consider how clarity and confusion affect your relationship with your partner at home. Is the statement true for you? Carol and I attended a workshop which focused on creating an accountable workplace culture.  Accountability expert, Greg Bustin, shared many gems, such… Continue Reading

Finally Retired, And Now You Want A Divorce???

Divorce rates within the older population are rising.  Dang! Based on historical research, Statistics Canada projected the life expectancy for the Canadian population in 2017 to be 79 years for men and 83 years for women.  I have no idea if their projections were accurate, however, we know that people are living a heck of… Continue Reading

How Do You Show Your Love?

What do you mean, “How do you show your love?”  Weird question, isn’t it? This may seem like a total exaggeration, but I invite you to ponder this. Many people (me included) get wrapped up in life – busy with work schedules, kids’ sports, family get-togethers, volunteer activities, TV, computer, and a variety of other… Continue Reading

Chronic Complaints: After 3 times, lay that sucker out

You might know the routine.  Out of genuine care and concern for your partner you ask, “How was your day?” The response goes something like this, “Oh, you can’t believe what a crappy day it was……… (on and on and on, gag, gag, adnosium).” Too often, replaying these stories, and telling them over and over only… Continue Reading

What You Were Told As A Kid Doesn’t Work: The Art & Science of Word Use

Remember the ditty, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me”? Totally ridiculous, wasn’t it? The phrase would supposedly protect us from verbal attacks on the playground at school. If you think about the flip-side of the phrase, it means it’s OK for the bully to use verbal attacks. After… Continue Reading

A Single Word Can Muck Up Your Relationship: a need for awareness and honesty

When coaching with couples, we usually ask if they know their partner’s hot buttons – words, a look, an expression that sends the partner into defensiveness, anger, withholding, or running. The answer is always “yes.” A really simple way to improve your relationship is to stop pushing those buttons.  Easier said than done.  As well… Continue Reading

Love That You Can’t Buy, Thank God For Kids

The Oak Ridge Boys.  Remember them? An amazing country-gospel group of guys that continue to make fabulous music.  You might remember, “Elvira – oom-pappa-oom-pappa-oom-pappa-mow-mow” At this time of year, I find myself singing their song, “Thank God For Kids.” For some reason, the words send shivers up my spine and tears flow.  I think it’s… Continue Reading