Your Relationship: Is It Functional, Adaptable, or Sustainable?

Life, as we experience it now, is functional, adaptable, or sustainable.

In other words, our society produces what we need to function – food, shelter, clothing, and all the things we need to survive. At an unconscious level, we only want peace and happiness, yet these basics just don’t cut it. That’s a problem.

So, we become adaptable. As humans, we are great problem-solvers.

We produce what we “perceive” we need. Our advertising industry has done an incredible job of convincing us that we absolutely need the toys, gadgets, improvements, newer, bigger, better, faster. At an unconscious level, we only want peace and happiness, and we think the things we buy will give us that.

But they don’t.  So we adapt, and produce more stuff, and consume more resources, and spend more time and money.

It becomes a frantic frenzy which can lead to being stuck in an ego-driven trap. At an unconscious level, we only want peace and happiness, but this doesn’t do it.

“I just don’t have time for peace and happiness – yet.  I will, someday when, when … I win the lottery!  Dang, I need to work a few more hours so I can buy a ticket or two.”

It is short-term “me” thinking, without much genuine concern for our fellow humans, other living creatures, our natural resources, or this planet.

It functions until it hurts, and then we adapt and produce/consume more. It functions for awhile until it hurts some more, and then we adapt and produce/consume more.

Strange game, isn’t it? If we stay in this cycle, eventually we’ll crash and burn – as a society.

If we want to thrive, sooner or later we must make the choice to live sustainably. We become “we” thinking, and find ways to live symbiotically and harmoniously within our natural environment. Peace and happiness are an easy, natural choice as we care for ourselves, our families, communities, and our planet.

At an unconscious level, we only want peace and happiness.

A Solution

It seems too big for me to change society. BUT, you and I can make a huge positive difference.  How?

For example, you can create long-term sustainability in your relationships – with your partner/spouse, your children, family, and in your community. Guaranteed this will have an affect on the bigger system.

Your relationship with your partner is a great foundational place to start.

True story-time

For many years Carol and I were in the functionality-adaptability cycle. At an unconscious level, we only wanted peace and happiness, but didn’t realize that. 

Our relationship functioned for awhile and then we’d get into a power struggle until it hurt – a lot. We’d adapt and develop some less-than-conscious coping mechanisms so we could function again. Not much peace and happiness – but it was tolerable.

We’d get into a power struggle again until it hurt – a lot. We’d adapt and develop some less-than-conscious coping mechanisms so we could function again. Repeat, repeat, repeat … We were on a path to the crash and burn scenario.

Been there?

Finally, we started talking honestly about what we wanted for the long-term – sustainable peace and happiness and an abundance of love. Finally, we started treating ourselves and each other in ways that allowed us the easy choice for peace and happiness and an abundance of love. We started making conscious choices about how we spend and consume, knowing that we can choose peace and happiness with or without the things. We’ve become aware of our calling in life and focus on that, rather than doing work that just didn’t float our boats.

We need less, consume less, produce more with efficiency, and have a lot of fun. We know we are changing our society – one relationship at a time.

Yes, we still slip at times, yet it is much easier to get back on our long-term sustainable path.

After all, we only want peace and happiness – for ourselves and others. It is an easy choice anytime and anywhere – if we’re conscious.

What about you? How can you move toward greater sustainability in your relationship?

Some questions to ponder, and act upon if you wish:

  • What one personality trait does your partner possess that you admire? What might happen if you shared that thought with him/her in a kind, loving way?
  • What one thing do you like about the way your partner looks? What might happen if you shared that thought with him/her in a kind, loving way?
  • What one thing does your partner do that is very helpful for you or others? What might happen if you shared that thought with him/her in a kind, loving way?
  • What one thing can you ask your partner to do with you, that you know he/she will enjoy? What might happen if you do that together?
  • When you choose peace and happiness and an abundance of love every “today” that comes along, how will your relationship look, sound, and feel in 6 months?

Relationships, as we experience them now, are functional, adaptable, or sustainable. Which state do you choose now, so you can experience peace, happiness, and an abundance of love?

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